As the years have gone by, I’ve noticed more and more that there’s a serious problem with health in the US.  It is a systemic problem.  This is something I’ve become aware of in little bursts over the years, like a blurry image slowly coming into focus. It makes sense, junk food is big, profitable business and apparently that has more power than our general well-being.  The book that really opened my eyes about all this is Rich Food Poor Food by Jayson and Mira Calton.

It first started in my twenties. I was having pain on the lower left side of my abdomen and went to the doctor. Looking back, I can see this doctor really knew his stuff and was way ahead of most people. If I hadn’t moved, I would have kept going to him. But back then, 20 years ago or so, I was shocked when he told me to avoid processed foods and white flour specifically –  pizza, bread, etc.  He said ‘that stuff isn’t good for you’.  The processed foods part wasn’t too surprising, but I had never heard that before about white flour.  It shocked and dismayed me, because I had been eating a certain way for my entire life and what’s worse is that I didn’t even think it was unhealthy!  At the time I counted bread as a plant in my diet. Almost as a vegetable.  LOL.  It was just so common and was something I frequently consumed, as did everyone around me.

I know there’s still a lot of controversy over this and I’m not saying everyone should avoid wheat.  In fact, I still eat it, but with moderation.  Once a day, every other day or so and I only buy organic products and flour.  I make my own tortillas, English muffins, baked goods as much as I can. But I have made changes to my diet since then, over many years and it has been extremely difficult.  I can’t drive to work without passing a McDonald’s.  Everywhere I turn, there’s unhealthy food and it’s so damn convenient.  Artificially flavored food that normal food just can’t compete with when it comes to flavor.  What really makes me angry about it is the fact that these foods are engineered to be addictive. This isn’t a conspiracy theory, it’s actual fact. This absolutely fucking disgusts me. I read about how Tobacco companies moved over into the food industry and how these companies hired people to discover what makes food addictive by studying fMRI scans and literally engineering it to be as addictive as possible. The excuse of these companies is that people can choose not to consume their products. But then why did they need to manipulate the food to make it more addictive? Just knowing this makes me want to not support these companies.

I am as prepared as I can be to eat healthy. I cook most of my own food and it does take a lot of time and effort. Even so, I can’t do it 100%. 21 meals a week is a lot and it takes a lot of energy and thought. Someone is constantly bringing junk food into the office and it’s very hard to resist grabbing it out of boredom.  I walked by the snack store at work and noticed there was not a single healthy option in the rather large selection of items available for purchase.  I get it, 20 years ago I would not have cared, but now I notice how food affects me.   I can no longer unconsciously eat the way I used to when I was younger.  That is the ‘problem’ with developing consciousness, which is one of my top values and goals in life.  You grow and you can’t unknow what you learn.  You know you can’t go back to anything in the past, but the path forward is difficult and unclear.  I want to know the truth and I guess that has a high price.  After having colon cancer last year, I’m really wondering if it was all the crap food I ate earlier on in life that caused it.  Now I’m wondering if the colon cancer had started way back in my 20s maybe as a polyp. The cancer was on my lower left side. There is nothing else in that spot except the large intestine, was it just coincidence? But then again, I’ve watched people drink themselves stupid every weekend and seem to not have any consequences.  Also, this doesn’t happen to everyone, so was it just a glitch in my body?  It’s sucks not knowing exactly why health issues happen.

I buy organic and non-GMO whenever I can.  I have cut out most junk food and no longer buy it when I go food shopping.  I skip those aisles completely in the store.  But it is still difficult to completely avoid.  I get cravings for certain foods and it’s clear they are addictive.  I switched to dark chocolate and cacao powder. I try to avoid added sugars – also very difficult to do.  I only drink water, tea, smoothies and coffee.  I no longer buy milk because it didn’t seem to agree with me and I cut out unhealthy cereal, so there’s really no use for it.  I use coconut, oat, almond or cashew milk for baking.  Overall, I eat many vegetables at meals. I do most of the cooking at home. But it does get boring and tiring eating healthy all the time.  I don’t go out to eat too often, but it’s difficult to do when you’re in a relationship. There’s always this temptation to just go out together, at least for us 😀

I can’t even just have a drink and feel ok about it anymore.  I never felt good about drinking and only ever did it rarely in the past, but it’s even worse now.  Which is a good thing, because it’s not like it’s healthy and it’s also expensive.  Though there’s that craving to have an Irish coffee now and then.  I loved the gin and tonic as well, but it started to give me really bad reflux. Not pain, but this weird bubbling feeling in my throat that made it hard to swallow.  Lately, I noticed I’m having a lot of the symptoms of LPR, which is a type of reflux.  I’ve started looking into all the foods that aggravate this condition and it’s a long list of my favorite foods.  At the top of the list is coffee and chocolate – my real favorites 😭. And I’m wondering if this has been an issue for me all along, but I didn’t notice it.  Honestly over the last few years I have made a real effort to be healthy!  The thought of even potentially giving up more foods is seriously depressing.  Luckily I never loved drinking, because that’s at the head of the list.

It also makes me wonder – How did it get like this? Why the obsession with food? It’s everywhere, almost as a hobby and a pleasure.  The ‘food porn’, as it’s so accurately called.  But what it comes down to is that food is really meant to nourish our bodies and provide it with the minerals and vitamins needed to continue functioning.  When did food turn into this addictive thing? Because I don’t get cravings for broccoli or most vegetables. Or if I’m in the mood for it, it’s something that I can easily stop eating. When did food become a distraction?

I think getting older is a major factor in this, because often you can no longer tolerate a lot of the foods and drinks that were no problem when you were younger.  It’s sad, but a reality 😢. And as difficult as it is, I think it’s worth at least trying to eat clean and healthy to possibly prevent some of these horrible chronic conditions that slowly kill you and are often caused by a lifetime of unhealthy consumption.  And even if it isn’t, it can also be a small act of rebellion in a toxic society.