I spent some time reflecting on 2025 and thinking about what I want to do in 2026 and realized it will be pretty much the same things I’ve been doing for the last few years. I still love the year end and the beginning of the new year because it’s a chance to remind yourself of what’s important to you.

We spend so much of our lives trying to do things, achieve things, to become someone. It got me thinking about what defines me. Over the years I’ve had a massive shift when it comes to this. I started out allowing others to define me. I let others set my goals and followed societies ‘rules’. But now that I’m older – and this is one of the wonderful things about getting older – others don’t define anything about me. That’s within your power to change. You can allow people to have a lot of control over your life or you can structure your life over time in a way to hold that power yourself. It has a lot to do with your mind and what you are believing and telling yourself over and over again.

I’m not defined by my job, it’s something I do for money and for survival. Though I recognize and appreciate the many benefits it’s provided me. It’s a choice to allow it to dominate your life by letting it define you.

My family also does not define me, though I’ve had considerable advantages because I have decent parents. But I live my own life and may not do what they want me to do. Their expectations don’t define me.

My relationship with my partner is great and will hopefully continue for a long time, but it doesn’t define me. He is a great addition to my life, but I would not be any less without him nor him without me.

My health was challenged this past year, but that too doesn’t define me and neither does my body. Nothing will force you so completely into the present moment as having health problems. It really does give you a very different perspective on life. My views on death have changed, they were already changing before all this, but I no longer fear it the way I used to.

Hobbies are often a defining factor and I remember wanting to define myself as an artist and musician, but I don’t feel that way anymore. These are things I love to do, things I want to master, but they don’t define me either.

My possessions don’t define me. I’ve worked for and earned everything I have and I feel really good about that, but possessions are just things and can usually be replaced. I don’t need expensive, flashy things to justify my worth to others because my worth doesn’t come from others’ opinions. I would also add general relationships and socializing to this category. Social things and events are a source of meaning to many people, but to me so much of that stuff seems empty and meaningless. Cutting most of that out has greatly improved my mind and my life in general.

Most importantly, thoughts are often a major form of identification and self-definition. I noticed this much earlier in my life. I believed what I thought was a reflection of me, when it was a reflection of my conditioning, society and surroundings. This was the foundation of all the other beliefs I had, and changing this is what caused a shift in my perspective.

It’s your choice whether you allow something to define you and you get all that comes along with that mentality, good and bad.

You don’t have to allow anything define you, this is the path to freedom.